A Sad Farewell to a True Legend....

As I heard the news my heart broke, I know it sounds daft; especially seeing as we hardly knew each other… but you were, are a legend to this club and indeed town.

They called you “Flash” because you were quick on the wing, thank goodness your were; as you quickly winged your way into our hearts!

How I took great delight in telling my friend who you were at that old boy reunion, he was meant to know it all too! You never forgot me, always had a smile for me and genuinely seemed to like the fact I was a fan… like I could have been anything else!!

I still cherish the book you signed; it holds pride of place in my book case & always will. Oh and the times I’ve shouted at our present day ‘wingers’ to “get a move on!” or how I wished they had been like you!!! You would have sorted some of them opposition full backs out, I’m sure.

I wish you were still here, I wish I had the chance to say hello one last time; one last time to ask how you were or to see you smiling towards me.

I wish I could say thank you one last time for all you did for the club, you are one of an elite few who will always have a special place in not only the club but also Northampton as a town.

So, from this very humble and very grateful St. John lady to the legendry Tommy “Flash” Fowler; thank you. For all that you were, for all that you did for the club… but more importantly thank you; for being my friend.

You will NEVER be forgotten!

Fearless....

I don't know how it gets better than this, 

he takes my hand and drags me head-first fearless! 

And I dont know why with him I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless!! 

Well, he stood there with me in the doorway, 

my hands shake, I'm not usually that way. 

He pulled me in, I was a little more brave! 

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something... 

It's fearless!!! ♥ 

(With thanks to Liz Fleming ©) 

Strange Way to Spend my Weekend?

As strange as it may sound this Sunday past (15th March) I spent the afternoon in a field; somewhere in the Leicestershire County. (Holwell to be precise, just outside Melton Mowbray ~ sorry for any spelling error here)

This isn’t actually the strangest part: that would be the fact I spent the day being a casualty who was a victim of an earthquake… (Apparently you can get them in Leicester!) My first injury was a nose bleed due to being smacked in the face by someone, (people would say that’s the best way to shut me up!) but then things got a whole lot worse with my next injury… a knife wound to my upper thigh.

Now, you may think (among other things) that I am just really accident prone; which is true when you think that I have been sick all over myself (which is fun to do when drunk but not sober) and fainted… not to mention the major burns to my face; hands and back/shoulders. Admittedly not all these things have happened at the same time, but it does seem I get injured a lot doesn’t it?

As most of you will know I am a member of St. John Ambulance; which is a voluntary caring organization that provides first aid as well as first aid cover for duties. What many people do not know is that I am also a member of Casualties Union, a registered charity which exists to provide casualties and patients for those who teach first aid, nursing and rescue. (More info can be found here: http://www.casualtiesunion.org.uk/)

I have been asked on more than one occasion why do I do it, and in truth it is much the same answer as it is for my St. John work; simply because I love what I do. To me the fact that I can not only save someone’s life but also help someone else “hone” their lifesaving skills; is something to be proud of.

The first time I actually met my now colleagues from the CU unit I belong to was while helping out St. John, who were asked to provide cover at the local soccer ground for (as I was led to believe) people who actually felt ill. The exercise was done with Red Cross and CU, testing the Fire and Ambulance Services. The basis was that there had been a chemical attack and people needed to be evacuated to the soccer ground, where the Red Cross would deal with them.

Somehow I managed to get involved (always the last one to know type of thing; but always willing to help out!) and had to almost babysit some of the “casualties.” I have to admit that I wasn’t prepared for what they threw at me, but I am reliably told that I did alright. But the one thing it did do for me, was make me want to learn more and become involved. To be able to see it from the “casualties” point of view is no doubt a huge help to me as a first aider, I hope it has made me a better first aider in the long run.

Someone commented to me recently that it was… “a strange way to spend a weekend” I happened to disagree… what could be more fun than being able to be extracted from a crashed car by lovely firemen and not only live to tell the tale, but also not have a mark on you! Not bad for a few hours work and all the fun of having your body plastered (sometimes quite literally) in fake flesh, blood, bone and sometimes; like me a real knife! (Don’t worry it was made safe!)

Even if I did get called a bloke twice! And after being called Mikkie by a good friend who's known me too long I am beginning to think I need to stop cutting my hair and wearing jeans! Maybe I should change my name to Rita from now on?

Because I'm Me...

I know I'm not blonde.
I know I'm not a model.
I'm know I'll never be pretty enough.
Pretty enough to be that "trophy Girl" on your arm.

I know I'm not from the same social standing as you.
I know that there's a million and one reasons we'll never be.
But I'm me!

I'm good, kind, lovely and loving.
I care about everyone,
I'm honest, fun and passionate.
And always friendly!

There may be a million reasons why we'll never be.
But only one we should be.
And that's because I'm me!

Those Few Years...

It was only seven years ago!
Seven years isn't a lot.
But it is when it was all seemingly ok!
And now?

Now it's not!
Seven years ago things were ok.
Seven years ago things were so different.

I still had my problems.
I still had my faults.
I still had my friends!
I was still the same person
I had always been.

But then you came along!
It all changed.
I changed.
My faults seemed more obvious.
I seemed to have more problems.

I lost friends.
But didn't get you!
I was still me seven years ago so what changed?

How Do I Do This?

How do I do this?
How do I change?
How do I still be me?
What's the right and wrong way for me to be?
What's the right and wrong way for me?
When should I stay?
When should I go?
Oh it's all so confusing to me!
What should I say and when should I say it?
Should I really say anything at all?
What should I be?
When Shall I be it?
Oh why can't somebody just do it all for me!
How do I do this?

What Happened?

What happened to me?
How did things get so messed up?
How did I get so messed up?
How could I fall for you?
Why couldn't you fall for me?
How can things have gone from normal to crazy in a matter of days?
You didn't even kiss me!
It was all ok and then days later it stopped being ok.
Why did it stop being ok?
How did it stop being ok?
What happened to me and why can't I just walk away?
What happened?

Tell Me...

Tell me why I noticed you?
Tell me why you didn't notice me?

Tell me why I fell for you?
Tell me why you couldn't fall for me?

Tell me why I feel this way?
Tell me why you don't?

Tell me why I want you?
Tell me why you don't want me?

Tell me when will I walk away?
Tell me when you will choose me?

Tell me when will this pain stop?
Tell me sir, please tell me.

Once When I Was Young....

Once when I was young
I knew I would be different
I knew that I would be teased
I knew that I would struggle
I knew that I would cry
I knew that I would hurt
But I never thought it would be ok.

Experiences in ones life makes you into the person you are.
Age teaches you that "no matter" you WILL be ok and it all will work out right.
Learn for those mistakes you make and life to fight another day!

I Am…

I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,

My friends forsake me like a memory lost;

I am the self-consumer of my woes,

They rise and vanish in oblivious host,

Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;

And yet I am! and live with shadows tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,

Into the living sea of waking dreams,

Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,

But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;

And even the dearest--that I loved the best--

Are strange--nay, rather stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man has never trod;

A place where woman never smiled or wept;

There to abide with my creator, God,

And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:

Untroubling and untroubled where I lie;

The grass below--above the vaulted sky.

© John Clare (1793 - 1864)

The Northamptonshire Peasant Poet.