Saturday, March 8, 2008

Revised version of Gloria Gaynor’s I will Survive...

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died.
But I'd spent oh so many years just waiting for a man that long.
That I grew strong and knew that I could take you on. But there you are...
another lie,
I was geared up for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry
I should have known it was bullshit, just a sad, pathetic dream.
Should have known no anaconda would be lurking in those jeans...
Go on now go... walk out the door.
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a prat to think that I wouldn't catch you out
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count!
I will survive, I will survive
Cos as long as I have batteries my sex life is
gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex?
I will survive,
I will survive . . .hey hey.
It took all my self-control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud.
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs.
Now I'm saving all my loving' for a cordless multi-speed.
Go on now go... you'd better flee
Last time I saw a prick that small was on my brother... he was 3..
I should have asked for confirmation, should have asked for referees
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me
Go on now go... just hit the track.
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers 'cos I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours
Is to stick it with a toothpick, dip it in tomato sauce.
Go on now go... get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance 'cos I know it's length is right.
And if I ever see your tiny truncheon standing t my door.
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor
Go on now go...

No comments: