Monday, July 21, 2008

Forbidden Passions. (Part Three)

It was only a few days after our last meeting and to be honest I was still buzzing from it all, although I had not thought about it at the time just being that close to Tony caused me to have lustful thoughts for the last few days. But each time I thought about our meeting I kept coming back to how quickly and abruptly it had ended, it was obvious to me that something was wrong. And the moment I walked into the soccer ground I knew that something needed to be said, I hardly had gotten into the first aid room when I was being asked after.

“Hey Nicky, I heard what happened Thursday... are you ok?” David, our clubs chairman asked. Nodding I assured him I was fine and assumed that Tony had obviously gotten over his problems, or maybe he just liked to gossip! Whatever the reason I had this feeling deep inside that both Tony and myself needed to talk, passing the time of day with David we must have stood chatting for about 10 minutes before he headed off for his office. I was just about to turn back round to get on with my things when I came face to face with Tony, stood silently looking at me. For a moment there was silence between us, which was quickly joined by a million and one feelings that seemed all too willing to disrupt my day. We both knew that our silence was becoming awkward but neither of us seemed able to speak, we both seemingly had something on our minds we wanted to say but neither of us were ready to say it. My mind was racing between what I felt and what I wanted; torn between my lust filled desires and the fact that there was still problems between, an unspoken obstacle that both of us were aware of.

“Are you ok Nicky?” He finally asked, clearing his throat slightly; his mind still filled with thoughts of that Thursday. His eyes looking anywhere and everywhere to avoid looking me in the eye, in all honesty it did not occur to me that he was worrying about what happened; mainly because I had no idea anything had happened. If I had thought about what had happened to me that first day then of course I would have seen, but maybe my lack of confidence would always seemingly be my curse.

“I’m fine Tony...” I said as coolly as I could, considering I still had this major crush on him. He instantly noted the change in the air and my tone, he wanted to say so much but found the words became stuck in his throat. The silent strained atmosphere between us again falling, sighing deeply Tony was obviously struggling with his conscious.

“I have been thinking about you...” Tony began, looking up into my eyes.

“Did you get a tattoo in the end?” He added, hoping it would lighten the mood and make things a little easier for us both. Smiling slightly, I thought about teasing him slightly but decided to be honest.

“Not yet, I still am not sure what to have...” I began, looking into Tony’s eyes; searching for something I was not sure I was searching for.

“I’m glad you thought about it Nicky...” He began, finally seemingly to relax. As we talked about everything like nothing had happened it was the first time I was actually able to study this man in front of me, realising that maybe he was doing the same to me I blushed.

“Maybe you could help me out sometime Tony?” I say, smiling at how he smiles back at me. I know that we both want to talk about what was bothering him, but neither of us feel ready to do so yet. As someone passed the first aid room both of us realised that we should both get on, I could not explain it but that feeling left me a little empty. Feeling unusually bold I pulled Tony gently close in a thank you hug as I planted a soft kiss on his cheek, lingering for as long as I could; enjoying the fact that he made no show of pulling away or stopping me.

“What was that for?” Tony said softly, as I finally pulled back.

“I just wanted to say thank you for what you did for me on Thursday.” Even though I pulled back, I loved the fact that neither Tony nor I made any move to detangle from each other.

“Hey you don’t need to thank me honey, I would never have let anything happen to you...” Tony said with a smile, hugging me to him quickly.

“Maybe I could buy you a drink to say thank you after the match?” I boldly ask, trying to not allow my blushes to show as much as I am sure they were anyway! Instantly the smile was gone from his face and I knew I had overstepped the mark, before he even said anything I knew I should not have said anything.

“As much as I’d love to have a drink with you Nicky, I can’t make it tonight. I’m sorry honey...” He said, wanting to say more but before he had the chance my colleagues had turned up and stopped either of us continuing.

“Chat later ok Nicky?” Was all he could say, as my colleagues needed me to help out; nodding was all I could do before I watched Tony leave.

To be honest the rest of the day seemed to fly by, I made as much effort as I could to be myself around my friends; and I tried to look like I was watching the game but in truth I was not. My mind was still firmly with Tony and how empty I was feeling, all day I thought about apologising and if I was being honest running away. Somehow I managed to get through the whole game having seemed normal to everyone; even my best friend seemingly had no idea what I was feeling. So as was normal I head off to the main entrance to chat with friends before heading off, well that was my plan anyway. I had not planned on my friends keeping me chatting for so long, or for Tony to be watching me all the match. I am not really sure how it happened but somehow I got into a little bit of a “set to” with some drunken away fans, they were starting on my friend and I guess I just never thought and wanted to protect my friend. Anyway, before I knew what was happening Tony was by side, giving these guys the meanest dirtiest look ever, and asking me if I was ok.

“Look, can I take you home Nicky?” Tony asks, saying that he wants to make sure I get home safe. Nodding I grab my first aid kit and head off to his car, enjoying the fact that his arm was still around me.

“I’m going to start calling you my hero if you’re not careful Tony...” I say, smiling as I get into the passenger seat of his big E class Mercedes. Smiling back, Tony slips into the driver’s seat beside me and answers.

“I don’t mind being your hero Nicky, would make me feel useful...” There is a slight jokey atmosphere in the air, but part of me could tell he meant it. As I suspected it was not going to be my day when I could not for the life of me do my belt buckle up, feeling a complete idiot I looked to Tony and shyly asked for help.

“I know I am an idiot...” I begin, looking as dumb as I felt.

“But, can you help me here?” I continue, pointing to the belt I just could not work. Smiling and nodding, Tony silently reached over and took the belt from my hands gently. As he took the belt from my hands his hand gently brushed over my breast, causing my skin to tingle in a very good way. Neither of us spoke but the silence said it all, there was a passion and desire that we both understood. As he clicked it in place Tony smiled up at me, he eyes said so much at that moment; I just wish I knew how to read them. Of course I knew what I wanted them to say, but I never thought in a million years that they would actually be saying it; so as we drove off I had no idea what was about to happen, or indeed just how much I wanted it to happen. We must have got half way down the road before Tony finally took a deep breath and spoke, testing the water before he took the plunge.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it for a drink tonight, I really would have liked to.” Gently and slowly he put his hand on my thigh, praying that I made no attempt to remove it; which of course I did not.

“I understand...” I begin to say, glancing quickly to his hand that gently squeezes my thigh. Seeing I make no move to remove his hand Tony relaxes more as we continue to drive, biting the bottom of his lips slightly as he tries to make up his mind. Part of him wanted to say something, part of him did not; maybe it was just a matter of which was a stronger will.

“I feel like I should apologise for how last Thursday ended Nicky...” Tony began to say, before he had the chance to continue his cell phone rang. Silently cursing the person on the end of the phone, he pulled over and answered. As I sat listening to Tony’s one-way conversation with the person on the end of his phone I noticed how he had yet to remove his hand, almost without thinking I begin to softly stroke the back of his hand. For a split second he is silent; almost stopped dead in his line of thought, before trying to continue.

“Ok, fine. Damn it, just do what you God damn want...” Tony said, raising his voice slightly; something I never thought I would hear him do. Hanging up the phone Tony just sat there for a moment, silently just looking out of the windscreen. The silence between was awkward, and whether or not he knew it Tony was softly caressing my thigh. He must have opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally found the words he wanted to say, turning his head slightly to face me he spoke.

“Do you still want to have a drink with me Nicky?” He kind of smiled at me as he spoke, gently squeezing my thigh as he did so.

Nodding silently, Tony turned the car around and headed off to the local hotel. It was only when he saw the look in my eye as we pulled into the car park that he realised too that we needed to talk, smiling softly he informed me this was the only place he knew we could still get a drink. Before I had the chance to open my door Tony was there opening the door like the gentlemen I always knew he was, placing his hand tenderly on the small of my back as we headed off to the bar.

“As I was saying before Nicky, I’m sorry I ended Thursday so abruptly...” Tony began to say as we sat down with our drinks, we sat close together in an out of the way dim lit corner. Tony’s face was so close to my face I could almost feel his beard brush my cheek, I wasn’t prepared for how this affected me; causing my skin to tingle once more.

“It’s ok Tony, I think I can guess why...” I begin to say, feeling so turned on I needed to be bold. With his eyebrow raised he looked at me, almost challenging me to explain myself. Taking a deep breath I spoke, leaning in as close as I could and lowering my voice.

“The same reason I had before surely? I thought you knew Tony?” I wanted to say what was on my mind, but needed to be sure. It was all well and good making a pass at him, but if I were not sure he would be ok with it; what good would it do me.

“I don’t remember you running off on me Nicky, what are you telling me sweetheart?” Tony said as his hand touched me again, this time softly he caressed my back causing me to shiver. Taking a deep breath I had to say something, I knew it could get me into trouble; but I just had to say something to Tony.

“I have a confession to make Tony...” I began, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of my throat. He moved closer to me, his beard brushing softly against my cheek; his hand not moving from caressing my back. For a moment I looked into his eyes and saw something I had never seen before, trouble was I had no idea what it actually meant.

“I’m not sure how to tell you... I don’t want to offend or upset you.” I begin to say, coyly looking up into his eyes then away again. I smiled inside as I realised that I was actually trying to flirt with Tony, wondering just where this could actually lead.

“Just tell me the truth darling, nothing you could say or do would upset or offend me Nicky.” Tony said, smiling softly I could feel myself blush and then as I looked away I felt his soft kiss against my cheek. Quickly I snap my head up and come face to face with my own reflected desire and passion, one that my mind was already familiar with.

“I don’t want to lose your friendship...” I begin, putting my hand upon his that rested up the table.

“That first time we bumped into each other in town...” I continued, moving a little closer and lowering my voice still.

“I became very horny thinking about you...” I said coyly, smiling shyly not really sure where this was going to lead. There was the natural silence I was expecting but as was normal I just rambled on, trying to fill the silence.

“God, I can’t believe I just told you that; I am so sorry Tony...” Looking away; I go to move back and create some distance between us, but Tony stops me softly putting his hand over mine. Looking up into his eyes for a moment I can see a questioning look in them, but still he does not speak.

“I guess I am still so fired up Tony, that damn kid on Thursday and those drunken morons today... I guess they have got me a little riled, sorry.” I look away again, still trying to create some distance between us. Still he does not let me pull away, but still he will not speak.

“I just feel so damn angry about it still, I have all these strong emotions inside me and no release...” I sigh deeply and look away, closing my eyes at how dumb I must have sounded and how I had seemingly said the wrong thing.

“I know how that feels all too well Nicky...” Tony says, quietly as he softly caresses my cheek gently pulling my face closer to his own. For a moment I am silent, trying to work out what he has just told me.

“You too?” Was all I could manage to say as he gently stroked the back of my hand, his breath ragged in my ear; his beard softly tickling my cheek. Nodding was all I needed to make the lustful wanton desire to come back full force, I knew I wanted; no needed him... I just did not know if he wanted the same.

"So what should we do about it?" Tony said, his voice low and soft in my ear. His hand now moved from mine to softly caressing their way up my thigh, he could seemingly read my mind and knew what I wanted.

“Well, I think we both feel the same way; so I don’t know...” I say, sighing deeply before I spoke; thinking deeply about what I was about to say. I wanted to say “bang my brains out you big stud...” but knew that it was the last thing I could say, as my shyness and uncertainty kicked in his boldness took over. Smiling Tony nodded and took my hand in his, leading me to the reception area. Shyly I wait by the lift doors watching how Tony booked us a hotel room, watching him intently. Noticing how he seemingly did not care or seem to care what people might think, ok so he was not national paper famous but he was well known in Northamptonshire. All sorts of things went through my as I waited for him, what if someone he knows sees us? Was one thing that went through my mind, I just could not help but worry. To be honest it was all playing on my mind; so much so that I honestly thought about leaving. As he turned back to head towards me I could tell he was having some second thoughts too, but as he reached my side and we got into the life I think they began to disappear in us both. Tony was seemingly well aware I had doubt in my eyes and unasked questions in my mind, smiling he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. No words were needed but it calmed a fear I never knew I had, the lift doors had hardly closed when Tony kissed my cheek softly. Instinctively I blushed and went to pull away, stopping me Tony softly brought my face closer; looking deep into my eyes. It was as if he was searching into my soul; silently telling me it was alright, softly he held my face in his big strong hands and kissed me tenderly.

It was all I needed to feel calm and relaxed, as we parted from the kiss and ended up in something like an Eskimo kiss I could feel my desire rising even further; but then as I felt that tell tail twitch of Tony’s fabric I knew he was feeling the same.

“I want you Nicky.” Tony whispered as the doors to the lift opened, leading me off to the room he held my hand pulling me to him once more as we reached the door.

“The feelings more than mutual Tony.” I reply as he unlocks the door and we walk inside, as I put my bag down and take my jacket off I am hit with a moment of shyness again. Knowing what I want but unsure if I should be wanting it, I can feel my nerves begin to rise once more.

"You know where this is going don't you?" Tony says, silently studying me; as I turn round to face him I see him watching me intently, feeling flushed I begin to blushing. Smiling, I nod and say yes. Closing the door behind us and pulls me into his arms; holding me there in silence.

"Are you sure you want this?" He said to me as he slowly stroked my back. Nodding I take a deep breath and boldly pull him closer to me, in one swift movement I kiss him upon the lips. Slowly the kissing and caressing become more passionate and I cannot resist the urge I had deep inside to touch him, I had been longing to feel his hands upon me and mine upon him. As I run my hands over his body I can sense him looking at something, I realise he is watching me in the full-length mirror. Realising it is turning me on as much as it is him I discretely angle myself to allow him a better view, I can imagine I am a movie star and that we are in a sex scene. I am fascinated by his hands as they slowly move all over my body and create feelings deep within me that I thought were impossible, all at once his hands are gently caressing my breasts and all over my body I can feel myself getting lost in these emotions. I can feel his hardness ever growing against my body, moving my hand lower I watch myself taking hold of his cock and begin to stroke him. As he let out a soft moan I suddenly became very aware of my surroundings and look up into the mirror, seeing him watching me watching him turned me on even more than I could imagine. Seeing how it turned him on made it seem even more erotic and as I turned slightly allowing him better access and view, hearing him inhale sharply made me want it more and as I watched his eyes watching mine I could feel the passion within me rise.

Watching as his hand slowly moved down from my breast over my belly and towards my pussy made me inhale deeply as I readied myself for what was about to happen, moving slightly again so he could not only see me but also get better access. As I watched Tony gently touch the outer lips of my pussy I let out a deep sigh and continued to watch as he slowly started to turn me on further by his fingers, as he gently rubbed my clitoris I could feel my knees buckle. Taking hold of him I watched as he smiled and took my hand leading me over to his bed, turning me so I was sitting upon the edge of his bed still in full view of the mirror. Kneeling in front of me Tony smiled up at me with his big brown eyes, never taking them from mine as he kissed and caressed my breasts while using his hands to gently stroke and caress the rest of my already highly aroused body. As his hands moved back to caress and stroke my pussy I feel the passion and desire rising again I can't help but take his head in my hands and let out a soft cry of pleasure.

"Oh Tony." Sensing my desire and pleasure he pulled back a little and kissed me with a certain passion I thought that I may burst, as he pulled away again he smiled slightly before moving downwards with his kisses.

Moving slightly to allow him better access I knew exactly where this was going and I know it wouldn't take much for me to cum, slightly teasing me Tony kissed and caressed all over my legs and thighs before lightly kissing my pussy and blowing hot air over me. Calling out and taking his head in my hands he takes the hint and slowly begins to lick my pussy, exploring it deeply with his tongue. Placing my legs over his shoulders I can feel him deeply inside me, creating feelings I thought I would not feel again. As Tony began to lick and suck my clitoris I watched myself in the mirror, studying the way I looked as he touched the deepest part of my numb emotions. Putting one of my hands in his hair I started to caress my own body with the other, noting how aroused I became as I did so. Wanting these feelings to continue I softly moaned as Tony took his index finger and slowly started to trace the outline of my pussy lips, moments later I felt him insert his finger deep inside of me coating it with my juices. Feeling the passion of the moment I closed my eyes and threw my head back while moaning softly, but it was not long before my eyes were wide open as he stood slightly and inserted another finger inside of my already soaking wet pussy. All the while seeking out my G spot he never stopped licking and sucking my clitoris, it did not take long for him to find my G spot or for me to cum.

Moaning and calling out his name as I felt my pussy clamp onto his well lubricated fingers, I had my eyes tightly shut as I felt my orgasm take hold of me and soon I felt how rigid my body became. As Tony continued to press upon my G spot his other hand was laid flat upon my stomach, gently caressing me still as I came down from the high he had created in me.

"Oh God Tony." I breathlessly moan as I shudder and start to relax, I didn't really notice Tony laying next to me until I shivered again and I felt him wrap his arms around me causing me to open my eyes. For a long time we just lay there silently looking into each other’s eyes, neither of us wanting to speak or break the spell we had undoubtedly fallen under. Kissing my lips softly he tenderly stroked my cheek and spoke.

“Oh God Nicky, don’t stop...” Tony managed to breathlessly moan as I kissed his neck, caressing his naked waist as I do so. His hands still caressed my breasts as we kissed once more, our tongues entwining with each other. Taking the lead I gently pushed Tony back onto the bed, straddling his lap as he laid back. For a split second I allowed my pussy lips to softly rub over Tony’s now raging hard cock, up until that moment I never really took any notice of his cock. But as he let out a soft groan as my pussy rubbed against his cock I began to take more notice, sitting back on my legs I begin to stroke him softly; slowly working up to a nice rhythm silently enjoy his expressions as I did so. After a little while I could feel Tony moan out loud as my strokes began to get firmer, and with one single look from his eyes I knew what we both wanted next. With just one look, we both knew what was coming and as if he could ready my mind Tony moved up onto the bed. Shifting my weight so I was positioned between Tony’s legs I give him a small smirk and begin to kiss his chest, moving down towards his stomach and thighs. Several times I would kiss around his groin area, and each time I would feel Tony’s breath inhale; knowing that each time was causing his arousal to grow even more. After like the fifth time of brushing my lips within inches of his cock, Tony let out a moan of desire and practically begged me to stop teasing him.

“Oh God Nicky, please...” His breath was low and ragged, his voice raspy; making me all top well aware that his desire was at breaking point. Looking up into his eyes I see them wide open and with a longing desire even I could understand, nodding within seconds my lips slowly being to caress the tip of his throbbing long thick and very hard cock.

“Mmmm Nicky...” Tony softly moans again, obviously enjoying the feelings I am evoking within him. Softly kissing Tony’s bulbous head I can feel him twitch with each touch I make, part of me wants to tease him more so I let my tongue glide down the length of his shaft towards his big hairy balls taking hold of his cock and slowly wanking him as I began to kiss his balls. Sucking each one into my wanton mouth slowly, gently nibbling on the underside of his cock as I move from one to the other. Reaching out with his hand I can feel Tony place it gently into my hair, I know he wants to thrust into my mouth but he also understands this is at my pace. Within moments, I move my mouth back to Tony’s cock flicking the tip of my tongue quickly over the head of his cock.

“Oh God, please...” I barely heard Tony say, nodding I quickly and easily take his full length in my willing mouth.

“Oh sweet Jesus Nicky...” I head him call out a little louder as I begin to slowly suck him, with each inch I take further into my mouth Tony’s hands continue to stroke me. For a while I am content to bob my head up and down while allowing him to feel in control of things; his hands in my hair gently pulling me towards him. Moments later I begin to feel that tell tail twitch in Tony’s balls and suddenly stop sucking, a little too quickly for Tony who is left almost whimpering at the loss of my touch. However, as I return to stroking him and then nibbling his balls lightly again, he soon forgets his worries.

“I don’t want to cum too soon Nicky...” Tony manages to breathlessly moan as he begins to feel his balls tighten once more; pulling away I keep hold of his rock hard cock and speak.

“Do you want me to stop Tony?” Looking as if he wants to cry he slowly nods, telling me that although he wants me to continue he wants this night to last also. Nodding I take my hand away and move up the bed, laying on my side next to Tony; who was still trying to catch his breath. Softly I begin to caress his chest, studying the tattoos on his arms.

“I never imagined you would have tattoos Tony...” I said softly as I stroked the one on his left arm, sighing deeply he looks to me and spoke.

“I guess we all have something about us hey Nicky...” Closing his eyes as I continued to gently caress him, without thinking I softly begin to kiss his neck, moving my hand back to his cock; gently stroking him once more.

“Truth is Nicky I never thought I would get a crush on you...” Tony began to say, opening his eyes and looking directly into my own. At that moment I finally realised that his feelings matched my own, smiling slightly I boldly kiss him with a passion I never knew I had inside me.

"You are so beautiful, would you like to continue?" Nodding, I pull him a little closer to me and kiss him back with just as much passion as he kissed me. Taking me by the hand we move up the bed so we are lying close together in the middle of his huge bed, holding and stroking each other’s bodies.

Gently Tony continued to caress my body, both of us knew where this would end and neither of us wanted it to stop, so taking his cock in my hand I positioned him between my legs and nod silently for him to continue. Which he does by slowly entering me, stopping every now and then allowing me to adjust to his size and width watching me all the time and never taking his eyes from mine. Once he was fully inside he started to slowly thrust, never taking his eyes from mine. In unison we move our hips together as I feel his cock thrust deeply into me, my pussy enveloping his bulbous tip and long hard length. Passionately we continue to move in unison the passion and momentum building, until he was moaning softly at me to slow down.

"Please slow down Nicky, slow down." Smiling and nodding silently I slow down and we sustain a perpetual rhythm together as his cock and his thrusts take us slowly closer to the edge. With each movement I can feel him deep inside me and with each thrust I tighten my pussy around his thick cock, his eyes never leaving my own as my highly aroused body falls further under his spell.

My mind was already overwhelmed but still I could feel so many new and strong emotions, like the feel of my breasts and nipples rubbing against his solid warm chest and our bodies dripping with sweat that our passions were creating. As I wrap my legs around him I can feel him slip deep inside my soaking wet pussy, watching his eyes as I open myself for him more seeing how his eyes became dark and full of passion as I clenched my pussy tighter around him as he pulled back. For hours we seemed to move as one working up to a crescendo of passion and emotions that neither one of us seemed to be prepared for, feelings I had no idea I could ever feel or experience. As Tony continued to thrust into me he told me how beautiful I was and how much he had wanted me when he first laid eyes on me, as I admitted that I too had felt the same way about him I could feel his thrusting movements become a little stronger and deeper. Pulling out of me I was about to ask what was wrong but once I saw the smile in his eyes I knew nothing was wrong, leading my by the hand back over to the full length mirror Tony gently caressed my body as we kissed each other.

Turning me around so I was facing the mirror, slowly he stroked my body and kissed my neck. Closing my eyes I start to get lost in the moment until I feel Tony's hand move back to stroking my clitoris, positioning me so that I am lent slightly holding on to the edge of the bed. Slowly he enters me from behind and gently begins to pound away at my pussy, continuing to watch me in the mirror. Moaning slightly to alert me to the fact he was watching me I too turn my head to the mirror and begin to watch as he slowly worked up the pace and started to thrust faster into my throbbing pussy, I could feel my own orgasm building with each thrust and knew I was close to the edge.

"Oh God I'm going to cum." I moan as I start to massage my breasts with my free hand and hold on to the bed with the other, sensing his own desires rising I can feel him picking up the pace even more and can tell he is close to his edge also.

"I want to cum inside you." Tony breathlessly moans lightly as he holds my hips in his hands, slowing to almost a stand still all I can do is moan softly and nod. Moments later Tony began to grip my sides as his balls started to tighten and his own orgasm came, tightening my pussy muscles I feel him filling me with his hot cum.

Needing to cum Tony moves his fingers back to my clitoris and began to rub his and my own juices into the swollen nub; slipping out of me he turns me around and sits me on the edge of the bed. Laying back I can instantly feel the makings of something I had only ever felt once before, female ejaculation. It was something I had only once felt before with one of my ex lovers, but it had never felt like this before. The emotions of the moment took me by surprise taking his free hand in mine Tony looked deep into my eyes while telling me it was ok and to let go, putting my head back and closing my eyes I let myself go fully giving in to these feelings as I feel myself burst I call out his name.

"Oh Tony." As I lose myself in the moment I can think of nothing else but the feeling this man had evoked inside of me, I feel like I am floating and my head is spinning. As I begin to relax I can feel wetness between my legs, it is warm and I can feel it running down my thighs and out of my pussy all the way down to my asshole. Shaking with exhaustion and surprise we both lay cuddled together on his bed slowly regaining our breath and coming down the silence fall around us, we just lay looking into each other’s eyes.

“Dumb questions Nicky, but are you ok?” Tony asks, with a smile on his lips as he softly strokes the still sensitive skin on my naked body. Trying not to laugh I smile and nod, finding that not only will the words not come but I seemingly felt to exhausted to speak. As we both came down from the high we had just experienced the questions and doubt came thick and fast, what we had just experienced was amazing; but it was not like this was something we could continue to do. Ok technically we could have a fling and maybe convince ourselves that we were happy, truth is though I would always want that little bit more; and he would never be comfortable with treating me in that way. As Tony vacantly stared into the distance and continued to softly caress my skin, I knew we needed to broach this. Taking a deep breath, I knew it was now or never.

“So what happens now, I mean where does this leave us Tony?” When I had just about given up the hope of getting an answer he sighed and looked into my eyes, trying to smile a smile that did not really reach his lips Tony finally spoke.

“I want to see you again...” I barely heard him say, I could tell that his guilt was much greater than my own; being honest I was not exactly miss goody two shoes! I have had affairs before and quite frankly seeing as this wasn’t my first time I wasn’t feeling as guilt as I was sure he was, quietly I lay contemplating how to reply.

“Are you sure Tony? I am assuming this is the first time you have strayed... you need to be sure.” As soon as the words had left my mouth the mood between us changed, he pulled away and sat upright; his eyes changed from open and revealing to dark and closed. Sitting staring ahead Tony just stay focused ahead looking like he had the whole world on his shoulders; as I brought myself up so I was sat next to him, looking at him as I try to figure out what I had said wrong.

“What is it Tony, what did I say?” I tenderly ask as I go to touch his arm, pulling his arm away sharply he says nothing and continues to stare dead ahead. Shaking his head, Tony got up and headed to the bathroom leaving me sat there unsure what had just happened between us. (Tony’s thoughts in bold etc) As Tony splashed his face with cold water he tried to rationalise why he had just reacted as he had, it is just because I am feeling venerable and guilty. Tony thought to himself, of course if he was being honest with himself he knew it was more than that. Cursing himself under his breath for thinking it, Tony sighed deeply; his mind struggling with everything that was happening.

“Why can’t I just be damn honest?” Tony half said and half thought, alerting me to the fact that it was indeed his first affair. Standing naked at the doorway to the bathroom I took a deep breath and spoke, finally allowing myself to truly be me.

“I’m sorry Tony, I overstepped the line tonight. It should never have happened; I hope you can forgive me.” I go to turn away and dress, but before I can Tony has hold of my arm; silently holding me there for a moment.

“I don’t want you to go Nicky, I want you; I meant what I said.” Tony’s passions still in the forefront of his mind as he held my arm, softly letting go as he prayed I would not walk away and would understand.

“I’m sorry I was quiet Nicky, I just...” Tony began to say, being cut off by his cell phone ringing. Sighing deeply Tony grabbed his cell and answered it.

“What?” Tony curtly asked, no really caring who was on the other end of the line. Realising he could be needed elsewhere I began to get dressed, looking over to Tony once or twice. I noticed he looked dejected almost as if he wished we could stay, at that moment I knew he meant what he said; he really did want to see me again.

“Fine, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Tony said, sighing deeply as he hung up the phone. For a moment he was silent, only making a move to dress after another deep sigh.

“I have to go to a last minute meeting Nicky...” Tony began, trying to find his next words.

“I know Tony, I know!” I say, trying to make things easier for him. After dressing we head to the car, his arm still around me; seemingly not wanting to let me go. Pulling me into a close warm embrace, Tony sighs deeply into my soft hair.

“I meant what I said Nicky, I really want to see you again...” Tony said, as he softly caresses my cheek.

“The feelings mutual Tony, I want to see you again.” I say, boldly kissing his cheek.

“I have to get you home though my dear...” Tony says softly, wishing he could take her with him. Driving me home Tony was silent for the most part of it, and to be honest I could totally understand why; this was not exactly the easiest part of the night. As we reached my door we both silently stood together not saying much but acting like love sick teenagers for a while, both wanting to say something but neither ready yet.

“So...” Tony began, pulling me into his arms gently.

“When can I see you again Nicky?” Tony continues, softly caressing my back gently.

“When are you free Tony?” I ask, as I kiss him with a passion I had been hiding deep inside for a long time.

“How about tomorrow? I want to make it up to you for running off like this sweetheart...” Tony began, with a twinkle in his eye he continued.

“How do you feel about spending a weekend with me, a midget, a donkey and some fishes?” Tony continued, trying not to smile or laugh. Looking up at him with a certain shock that only caused him to laugh, Tony turned on his heels and got back in his car. I began to smile at Tony’s words realising that this was going to be the main part of our relationship, one that I was sure I would not regret.

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