On A Rant Again... (Yes a political one ~ but it isn't a bad one!!!)

Firstly, I’d like to wholehearted congratulate Chris Lofts and  Lisa Samiotis; our new County Council Councillors for Towcester. What a great result and in my opinion, something that we all needed… Well done to all; especially Jane Hollis & Scott Collins, for all the hard work that went into such a great end result.

Now can we in the Northampton part of the party all look towards the future and the NCC (Northamptonshire County Council) election?

What happened to our party at the Borough election was horrible, as a party member who had helped out & worked her butt off; as well as a human being who saw many a good person (yes even you Mister Woods) lose their seats ~ it hurt like crap. We are all (including me) licking our wounds, yes still. To be so soundly defeated may have been what many thought we deserved, I am not here to question that.

What I do want to bring up is the fact that we seemed to have just stalled and come to a halt when it comes to Borough matters. I can understand why, and can see that with only four councillors (one of whom is Deputy Mayor) it is very hard to be an effective opposition when it comes to council matters. However, my big fear is that those good people that we had with us; will just give up and essentially let “them” win. Such a huge amount of experience and passion will be lost to this town, and that can never be a good thing!

There is an old saying, which I feel is most apt here… “When you fall, you don’t give up. You pick yourself up; dust yourself off and start again…”

I can see why many feel that this is not an option open to them. Pride (or ego, you call it whatever you like) is one of those things that; once it takes a beating, it takes a hell of a lot to make things better. Some may feel too old or past it, I get that feeling too. Believe me, I totally understand why many have the feelings they do; I cannot say that I would not feel the same if it was me.

But here is where I think I might differ slightly, and I am not preaching or anything at people that are better than me! If it was me, sure I would be devastated; but I hope that sooner rather than later I would pick myself up again. I am sure that someone; probably my parents, would kick me up the butt and tell me to pull myself together and get on with it. And they would be completely right to do that, after all that is what political life is partly about isn’t it?

I know that I am not a Councillor, and have not been in politics that long; I admit I do not know all the ins and outs of the local political world. However, what I do know it that s*it happens! One minute you are the best thing since sliced bread, the next you can be clinging on by your fingernails. That is just the way things are, you are damned if you do; and damned if you don’t… in short; when you enter into the political field, you must understand and except that you are not always going to get things right ~ and you are not always going to be liked by everyone! Again this old saying seems to fit; “you can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time!”

I am sure than many councillors (and not just in my party) understand this, I understand this; and should I take that step to try become a councillor I’d like to think I would never forget that either. It must be so hard to continue to fight with passion and fire as strong as it was when something like this happens; when you lose so heavily, I imagine that it makes you question everything… up to and including the belief that those who vote must hate you so much that what is the point in fighting again.

But my point to end is that you simply must keep going. I know that it is hard, and I am sure that I underestimate just how hard it would be. But I feel that you just cannot let “them” win, you cannot just give up and let whatever party it is sell the people of your ward and town down the river. People can be fickle, (I am no different) we sometimes vote without thinking things through fully. We as voters want the best we can for ourselves and family, we want the best for our town. We use blind faith sometimes in the hope that those courting for our vote really do care, and really will do their best for us and our town/community. Sometimes the vote will not go our way as politicians, but that does not mean we should give up on the fight or wanting to do our best for the town or its people…

At the end of the day, we are all voters too. We all belong to this town and we all want our best for our families and our town don’t we?

Dearest Gil,, a csi fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Dearest Gil,, a csi fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Must try my hand at writing something like this as soon as I can!

Women & Men ~ Take Note.....

I wrote the following after seeing a link on Facebook a friend commented on, I did not know all the "other bits" to the link and will not be commenting on all the other stuff here. I am not sure I understand enough about all the facts to make a true opinion about the matter, I wrote this originally to say that the main basis of the "bill~that~was~not" was that I agreed with the idea of "just say no" being a viable option when it came to sex... I do not think that it should be all down to women, guys you have to take an equal amount of the thing here; after all ~ you have a part to play too! I also believe, as I will hopefully show in the below piece; that sometimes "no" is an option! It should not be about "having" to preform to feel like a woman (or man for that matter) ~ it should be about what "YOU" want, not what you "SHOULD" be doing!!! 


Having just seen a link on facebook posted by a friend regarding a female MP and her bill, I thought that I would add my own views; which may not be liked by everyone ~ but again, it’s just my views!

Nadine Dorries is MP for Mid Bedfordshire and as I can understand it put forward a bill about extra sex education lessons for young girls between 13 & 16 years old; which would include advice on "the benefits of abstinence".

Now it seems that she has withdrawn the bill, apparently causing a million and one feminists, humanists and pro-choice activists to cheer madly and wildly. I have no idea why Ms. Dorries removed the bill, which won support first time around; I also have no idea why other woman are so against this bill either. Surely the whole point of years of struggling to get equality means that we women do nothave to follow the crowd or do what people tell us to do? I don’t normally look to myself for an example; but let me put forward my view of this…

I hate sex. I have never liked it, and I doubt I ever will. Despite what people may think, despite my flirty nature and past misdemeanours, it has never been of interest to me. Now much of this I am sure is down to my hormones and constant bleeding/women troubles, but it is partly due to choice too!

What I need is other women that understand, not to feel unnatural and about as sensual as a pencil. What I need is to find one guy who doesn’t think with his dick and will be understanding, not continued pressure from all and sundry to be more of a woman.

It would be heaven to not feel like a freak just because I am not being banged every single night, or because I don’t want to be screwed by every man to walk god’s green earth!!

You know what, I actually agree with Nadine to some extent. It would be great if girls were taught that you don’t need to have sex, until you are ready. And while I am at it, why not teach young girls more about what can go wrong with their bodies; rather than just what happens when they get their man (or men) into bed… no one ever told me what happens when your bits go wrong. No one has ever said, this is normal or this is not normal. And when I have only my mother to turn to for advice, it can get very hard to not only find my voice when something goes wrong; but also understand my body and life. So instead of making the women you are fighting to gain equality for, feel like freaks; why not start supporting a full and complete sex education for women!!!

And She's Off On A Rant Again!!!

A few things that have been on my mind of late…

It's been a while since I wrote anything blog like, so I thought I would get my finger out and start again… The Daily Mail/Mail on Sunday… the devil reincarnated or a good honest read; that says what people really think? I know what I think, but please discuss!!!

Why is it that when something hurts, everything else wants to join it too? When my left leg wants to hurt, my right heel wants to join in the party… then my women’s troubles wants to come along and start causing havoc, and if that wasn’t enough my head wants to pound me into submission… on top of which I manage to get caught by the mother of all colds!!! Including the full blown, blocked nose, sort throat and dry tickly cough too!! Jeez, doesn’t my body know I have a life I need to be getting on with!

Having just watched the news about youth unemployment rising, I wanted to make the point a friend made; what about dropping the youth part for those of us older than 24 years old? It should be just about the unemployment aspect, rather than just being about the yoof of today! I can understand better than most just how it feels being unemployed, that doesn’t change because you are young or old; if anything it is worse for those nearer to retirement age than youngers just out of school.

More Nutty Nan...

Another day and another problem to deal with for us, Nan is; I know an old age and as such has earned the right to let loose.



But it seems that far too many people are happy to just let her fall by the wayside than they are to help her. I don't think it's a good thing that she is in debt and cannot look after herself, nor do I think it's something people should just shrug their shoulders at.



What if it was YOUR Mother or Gran? Maybe you are so rich you can keep bailing her out? Maybe you have the money and time to do a 180 mile round trip every day? Or maybe you just have a black hole where your heart should be? Either way, I am screaming out for help and no one seems to be listening.

Nutty Nan's are Damned Difficult...

I cannot begin to explain what angers me most, that this has been allowed to happen or that so called London Community Spirit is nowhere to be seen.

My Nan used to be the one who was always there, the one to give her all for everyone. She'd never think twice about giving her last cent to those who needed it, she was always the first to help and last to leave.

So you can understand why I am just a little bit pissed off that now, when she needs help most; they have all seemed to have fucked off and left her in this appalling state.

She worked in the centre of London until she was 85 years old, when she retired due to the start of health problems. And I think this is clearly where the trouble began, there is nothing for her to do anymore now. Being widowed in her mid 50's also did not help, but she always had something or someone to keep her occupied. And then things changed, losing the community hall across the road has made it worse in my opinion.

With her health getting worse, she lost the sight in one eye; and when you couple that with heart and breathing problems, it all adds up to an elderly lady getting frail and older. And that in itself scares me, especially with the area she lives and indeed the world we live in. Maybe it is very Tory of me, but how can you trust someone that would kill you as soon as look at you!

So with the health problems and the area she lives in, it already looks bad; add to that the fact she is clearly lonely and has nothing to do. Now the problem she has been faced with is dementia - something she believes she does not have, but clearly does. And I guess this is what has been making things worse, that and the fact she still thinks she is working and earning a wage.

Truth is she is slowly becoming unable to look after herself or indeed her affairs, and I won't even start on about the state her flat is in! She was never like this when younger (yes I know it happens with age) and the truth is, it is frighten to think someone could be allowed to get like this is in our Country.

Part of my anger is towards all the "friends" she helped out over the years, those she looked after. Where are her religious friends? What about those she used to work for/with? Or those from the Eastern Star whom she spoke so highly of? Or even those fellow Freemasons that stood with my Grandfather before he died? Where is this "loyalty" they speak of so highly?

Yes I know she is our family, but when that family cannot be there surely the purpose for friends is to take on the families’ mantle? Is it too much for someone to give a damn? I want to blame the council of the area, but in truth I feel that they are like most council’s; say they'll look after all the people in the ward and then neglect those that matter most.

She lives in a block of flats that seem to be the place the council send the misfits of society - and I do not mean any offence by that, just the best way to explain. The flats cannot have been modernized in all the years they have been up; they don't look like it anyway! It's a two bedroomed flat and when she was able, seemed easy to clean and look after. But now, it is a totally different story. Whether or not it is her health causing her trouble, she simply cannot look after the flat as it is.

It looks like she hasn't hovered in years, goodness knows how many dust bunnies there are under the beds etc. The spare room is filled with food and gifts and things I know she cannot afford, the bath looks like it either hasn't been used or cleaned in years. The loo is bad now, especially due to there being a leak from upstairs - filled with damp and stains all up the walls. And there is a distinct smell of stale urine around, not unlike the one coming from her chair in the lounge.

Talking of the lounge, it too looks in a right mess. There is food everywhere again, half eaten sometimes too; and a pip/stone still lying where it fell on the paper. Food and stains covers the floor, coffee table, footstool and bizarrely; remote controls for the televisions. One of the more worrying things is the small gas fire/heater by her seat, it is a worry that something could happen and effectively blow the whole building up!

And then we come to the kitchen, and I swear she must either not eat or have a cast iron stomach... The place is full of food, it is on top of the small dining table; the work surfaces are also covered. No idea what is in the pantry, I hate going into the place; your feet stick to the floor! And the fridge, open the door at ye own peril - the rancid smell hits you within seconds, and lingers for ages - and travels too! God only knows if anything is within date, I am sure there must be a penicillin farm growing in there!

That is just the state of her home, something both her younger self and her husband would have had a fit over. It is the state of her mind which is more of a worry, and there are many reasons why it does. Not least that she simply does not seem to understand she no longer has a wage coming in, she just cannot afford to keep spending like she is earning money each week. Every day she seems to go out shopping, buying food she seems not to eat; let alone want.

The other thing that worries me is that she is vulnerable, how easy would it be for some unscrupulous person to come along and con her? I am convinced that she has been, but seeing as the amount of poop she is in is huge; goodness knows when we will ever find out. But the main problem is that she is in amazing debt and trouble, and simply put; she does not understand just how bad it is! The main cause of the problems is her car, and the one thing I don't think she will be able to live without. Her car is the only way she gets out and about, it is her lifeline; but is also becoming her downfall too.

She was always a nightmare to get into the car with, always willing to shout at the other drivers even when she was in the wrong! The she began to get a few speeding fines or parking in the wrong place etc, and now she has began getting bump after scrap on the ten year old car. Two years ago it came to ahead when she had an accident with a double decker bus; it was a bit of a bump; but thankfully no major injuries... The car took the worst. What was the worry was she had no idea where she had left the car, no real idea where it happened; or how. Clearly the shock has affected her, who wouldn't be; but just how much of it was to do with her dementia and how much the accident?

Every time we go down we spot how many more scraps and dents are there, wondering how many more she will have next time is anyone’s guess. And it isn't just the points or the dents or the accidents, it is the fear that one day she will have such a bad accident and either hurt herself or someone else. That and the fact she simply cannot afford to run a car anymore, it all adds up to worrying signs. She has insurance of over £800 a month, which is hard enough for anyone to find; let alone an elderly person.

Her road tax has run out, only just sorted out her MOT; after a good six months after it was due... But the most worrying thing is one (or maybe more) unpaid fine the Leiwsham council has given her, or to be more exact the fact she has not paid it/them. She has clearly had notices about the fines, but ignored them or been unable to pay. The council has forward the debt onto a debt agency, which gave her a chance to clear it but has also been ignored.

Now she has been told that the bailiffs are coming to take her car away as a start of clearing her debts, though whether or not that will cover it is a different matter! Either they have either come for it and could not get access to it, or they will be doing so soon. Either way, things do not look good for her; or indeed us! So now what? Well, it seems that if it isn't one thing it is another. How to deal with it all when we can only get down to see her one a month or so? We can only do so much, and in truth it is all like an iceberg; and we are only scratching the surface!

She was told to go to the bank Monday (today) and transfer some savings over; trouble is it seems that has not happened. Monday is nearly over and we have no idea where she is or even if she has gone to the bank, we don't know if her car has been taken away; or if she's had an accident or anything! And I guess that is part of the problem too, the not knowing and not really being able to help; that and the fact she is so damn stubborn!

She clearly still has the marbles to know when she does not want to do something, it does make me wish Dad (who's Mother it is) was more forceful; but can understand why he isn't or doesn't want to be.

So now what? In truth I don't know, I have no idea where to start; and I am sure my Dad doesn't either. The future does not look a pleasant one, and as someone who is a worrier; none of this helps any!

When Squirrels Attack....

Nervously I sat waiting for him to show, my stomach in knots; much like a lovers Celtic knot. My insides were all tight and strained, like a ring that has outgrown its owner.  A million and one thoughts went through my mind, not least would he show up; one of my great fears which were aided by my great weakness ~ my lack of confidence. But my thoughts were like a million and one diamonds, and as soon as he walked into the bar those diamonds and their bright sparkle paled into a dull nothingness; the light in my eyes could easily light the way forward.

Had I really been longing for this moment? Was this going to be all I had dreamed it would be? Will the moment last? What if the feelings were not there? The doubt was there, ever present; much like Steffans itself ~ something I will always find in Northampton, like an old faithful friend; never one to ever let you down. All my fear and doubts came crashing to a head, my heart too full to speak; my mind not focused on what was so clearly in front of me. I was overwhelmed, like a kid in a sweet shop; or more likely a woman in Steffans with a limitless credit card ~ I wanted so much, but could say so little.

And just like when a Mother knows what her child has done wrong, he clearly knew; he could sense it. And without another word, he took me into his arms and held me fast against his chest; no words being needed as I simply melted into those strong arms of his. As he continued to hold me against his solid frame, we begin to kiss; a true lovers kiss. The type you hear about in fairytales and see in movies, the kind that makes you go weak at the knees and makes your heart sing. Like a string of pearls, they are timeless and scream class and style. As we softly pulled apart I could still feel his closeness, his smile was warm and his touch tender.

Our gaze locked upon each other, his big beautiful brown eyes telling all I needed them to say; my own eyes transforming the need for words ~ he already knew me so well anyway. We must have stayed like this for hours, our friends came and went; the punters came and went ~ like other jewellers, many will come and many will go; but Steffans will always remain ~ nothing and no one seemed to matter to use. And as the moment between us grew, the words formed in his sweet beautiful mouth; he had to say it ~ he knew that it was a now or never moment. Pulling me closer to him, I could feel it too; I knew this would be the moment everything in my life had been waiting for. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened his mouth, pausing slightly before he spoke those momentous words he had been longing to say...

“There are kamikaze Squirrels about on the loose!”

My Kingdom for a Squaround Mug!

Squaround Mug ~ it’s not round, it’s not square; it is magic FM’s giveaway item!

And I want one, more than I have wanted many things in my life!!

I want one more than I want children, marriage, a job, money, food and even drink!!!

What do I need to do to get myself one of these mugs? I have tried everything, I have done the competitions; I have tried to be the fastest person to get my call or text message in ~ is it because I am from Northampton? 

I know I am not from London or living there; but my Nan lives there ~ in Abbey Wood… and my Dad was born there! 

As Mike Posner says, if I could write you a song to make you fall in love; I’d do it to get a mug! Though I cannot sing, so that might not work. Is it because you are Cooler Than Me?

Well, I can write; a little bit anyways. So I would like to write you a poem if I may, just for you; maybe you will feel that this warrants a Squaround mug?

I could start by saying how much I want one

How much I need one

But I am sure you have heard it all before…

I could tell you how great your station is

I could tell you this is the only radio station I listen to

And while it is true, it has all been said before…

As has, I never listen to anything else

Though this also is true…

To find the right words to impress

To find the right route

Maybe I need to return to the old fashioned road of begging?

Talk It Up. (assignment: dialogue)

Written entirely in dialogue. Done as a writing assignment, and an example of who to write dialogue. The basis of the story is a young girl visits her father in prison, where she tells him she is pregnant by a man her father hates. Her mother wants her to have an abortion; she does not seem so keen. Written to show how her father reacts and what the girl thinks to matters, hope you enjoy!

“Did you hear me Dad?” She timidly asked, not wanting to look up.

“I heard...” He just about managed to splutter, not willing to allow his anger to surface.

“I told you that I want to keep it...” She added defiantly, not even allowing what her mother wanted to have any baring on her life.

“He won’t stay.” He added, knowing all to well what his “sort” was like.

“Yes he will, he loves me!” She replied softly, not completely sure of the man she had been seeking comfort with.

“Ha! Don’t make me laugh...” He shouted, raising his voice so the other inmates and officers heard him.

“What does your Mother say?” He asked, knowing the answer already.

“She... she thinks...” No matter how hard she tried, she just could not bring herself to say the words.

“Get an abortion, go on; say it...” He answered for her matter-of-factly, staring ahead of him blankly; while all his daughter could do was nod numbly.

“She’s right too, you’re only a kid for fuck’s sake!” He added, finally allowing some of his anger to show; not realising what he had actually said.

“I’m 18 Dad... two years older than when Mum had me!” She spat back, not ready to be put down in such a way.

“You talk as if I have not thought this though...” She said more softly, sighing deeply as she stared out of the high windows with bars against them.

“You haven’t...” He threw back, knowing deep down he was wrong; they had brought her up better than that.

“Bollocks...” She shouted back, now it was her turn to make them all look; right on queue the room did as she wished.

“Mum was 12 when she lost her virginity, I was 18...” She began, just about holding her calm.

“She was 16 when she had me, and you were 10 when you first got sent down...” She continued, her voice rose a little more; the room almost silent.

“I am nothing like either of you!” She added, her fists clenched; her own temper just being kept in check.

“And I am still your father, even if I am in here!” He quietly answered back, finally seeing that she had more than a point.

“Yes, and you will be a Grandfather when you get out.” She said softly, wanting to show him what lay on the outside of these horrible four walls.

“And you’ll be a Mother...” He began, not sure whom he was reminding.

“And HE will be the Father...” He just could not help but add that, he wanted her to know he was still angry.

“He’ll take care of me Dad... of both of us!” She softly said, wanting to end this row; these days were too few as it was.

"He best an' all..." He replied, trying to smile; knowing that life would never be the same again.

Nicky S.... for Serious Now!!!

Just so you know, my last name ISN'T serious. 

But, I thought it about time we quit with this political crap and got back to the point of this blog ~ somewhere to post my writings and assignment etc. Plus in truth, having three (at least, even I have forgotten) blogs is becoming tiresome! I really want to get back to one blog for everything ~ and no, there was no politics in that comment whatsoever!

Also, while I am at it; the picture I have used as my display is by an artist called Iain Faulkner.

The piece is called "In From The Storm" and all credit should go to him.

Not just for the artwork, which I still think is amazing; but also for the fact that it was this piece that got me back into writing again.

I saw it in a now long gone art gallery in Northampton (just off the Ridings for those of us that know Northampton) and it just instantly stuck me as stunning. I wanted to sit there and study it all day long, I think the girls behind the counter must have got fed up of me always going in there and just sitting there.

Anyways, I ended up writing a story based around it (I think I posted it on here ~ but it wasn't very good) and it got me back into writing. The picture has long since been sold; and as I said the gallery gone too.

But the one thing I am going to go back to doing is heading out to places and looking around for some ideas, that was one of my best plans; maybe it will work now?

And if you happen to see me out looking lost (or even thoughtful) come and say hello, you never know; it could help an old writer out...